A simple three step process to happiness.
Grasping cellphones like children with pacifiers, hordes of zombified people wander aimlessly in a mad world. Akin to a psych-ward where the patients least capable have been left in charge, Mother Earth stumbles through the universe.
Overmedicated, fed by emotions filtered through a screen, polarised by greed and consumerism, we chase the something that will bring meaning to our lives. The next pill or therapy that will help us feel good.
Are we living in 1984? Is this a possible future, or is it the present? And … most importantly – how can we fix it?
When psychiatric drugs first appeared in the late 1950s, they were considered a godsend. Chlorpromazine was originally developed as an anaesthetic, but showed that it could calm down those who were called “psychotic.» Today, this has grown into a jungle of different varieties of psychotropic drugs, which are categorised into major classes such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilisers, anti-anxiety agents, and stimulants.
In Iceland, which was ranked as the second happiest country in the world in 2020, 52% of the population use antidepressants. Are they genuinely happy, or merely sedated?
The term “psychiatry” was first coined by the German physician Johann Christian Reil in 1808. Mental disorders were considered a disorder of the mind rather than the body or soul. If you go to therapy, dear reader, please ask your psychiatrist to define “mind.» What is it that they treat?
Diagnoses are often subjective, raising questions about the scientific basis of psychiatry. Based on the observance and interpretation of behavior, and created by committees. Which raises another question: “Does psychiatry adhere to the rigorous standards of the scientific method?» A person may show the signs of clinical depression, when they actually are deep in meditation or writing a symphony.
The standard treatment of mental “illness” in the West is to numb emotions with pills. My psychologist mother called them chemical lobotomy.
“Follow the money” is often used to identify the root of a problem. In 2023, the global psychotropic drugs market was valued at approximately $21.3 billion and was expected to grow to $28.9 billion by 2033, with a compound annual growth rate of 3.1%.
My first encounter with psychotropic drugs was back in 1994. I had read “Listening to Prozac,” by Peter D. Kramer, and was enraptured by the thought of a drug that could ease the strain of little money, lots of work, and a new baby. So, I started on Seroxat, an SSRI.
It drove me nuts. The raised serotonin levels played havoc with my system, and after a short while, I developed hypoglycemia. I remember taking the train to Oslo, and the bewildered eyes of my wife when I had to leave the train, one station early, to run to the nearest store to buy a chocolate.
I went cold turkey and experienced classic withdrawal symptoms. Lightning that ran through my head, feet running though I wasn’t, and I was left with an acute feeling of emptiness. This spiral got me a bipolar diagnosis in 1997.
From 1997-2017, I gave psychiatry my trust. Following the advice of psychiatrists, I used all the five classes of psychotropics, with lithium the constant, before I gradually tapered in 2017. The rattled awake moment that instigated this happened in front of our bathroom mirror.
I had started a MindValley online course called WildFit. In the introduction, we were asked to take a picture of ourselves, bare upper body. I looked into my eyes, and a knowing came over me. I was dying. The drugs that were supposed to heal me were killing me.
Since I have been a therapist since 1983, and a healer since birth, I decided to fix myself.
It used to be that people were given compassionate attention and care. Some people are out-of-tune with our world that they need full-time care. Others need attention in the form of talks. Some people find comfort in their priests or shamans. And some need medication to function.
Naturally, maltreatment also happened. People were lobotomized, given insulin- and electrical shock-treatment, and beaten. Psychiatry has a dark history. Let’s not forget how it has been used by regimes to subjugate indigenous people, or others deemed of less worth.
My mother, clinical psychologist Reidun Ueland, wrote this: “Psychiatry still exists in its form and content solely due to closed doors and a hierarchical power monopoly. If ordinary people knew what goes on behind these closed doors, psychiatry with its biological view of humanity and biological treatment methods would have long been abolished. Only those who follow the internal laws have access, and external scrutiny is largely prohibited. Relatives have no say, nor do they dare to, because they are well aware that there is no alternative for their relatives affected by psychosis. It is a well-known fact that psychiatry has, over the years, prevented alternatives. This is rather strange, considering that psychiatric history is full of experiments that have caused patients great suffering and many deaths.”
My mother was not religious, yet she was one of the most spiritual people I have met. She had a deep and abiding belief that if people were empowered, they could get a better life. Her speciality was giving hope to people who had been given the label “schizophrenic” or “psychotic.»
Some of her patients visited her at home. I remember meeting one of them, S.
S. came running into my mother’s home, a frenzied look at her face. I knew a little bit about her; she had been drugged with cocktails of psych-drugs for so long and in such huge dosages that they had affected her face and given her tardive dyskinesia – and left her non-verbal.
She looked at me, and then she started marching around in the living room, raising her legs up high. Then she stopped, to raise her arm in a greeting worthy of the SS.
I had to contemplate for a few minutes. Was she saying that I had a Hitler-vibe?
As luck would have it, I watched the news last evening about the rise of neo-Nazism in Eastern Europe.
“Did you watch the news yesterday?” I said. She turned towards me with an inquisitive look. “Did it scare you?»
She nodded. Tears came to her eyes. I understood!
The mental health of the world is miserable. If you look at important indicators, there is no hope. We are sheep walking towards a dark future. Suicide is on the rise, the most harrowing symptom of human pain, and 70% of suicides are men. An increasing number of people are given psychiatric labels, ranging from the simple ones (“depression,” “anxiety”) to the tough ones (“schizophrenia,” “autism” and “bipolar”.)
Do the labels hurt or help? A growing movement in the UK, instigated by a group of psychologists, is called the “Power Threat Meaning Framework.» Rather than labelling people, they ask some essential questions:
1. How has Power influenced your life?
2. Which Threats have influenced you?
3. What Meaning do you give what happened to you?
4. What Threat responses do you use?
5. What are your strengths?
6. What is your history?
So, I am hopeful. As a community, we can fix this situation. It takes a village to raise a child. And right now, the world is our child.
When we were kids, we got attention. Without attention, an infant dies. A child can’t survive without TLC and food. Then, life happens. Mum and dad start working. The child is put into kindergarten or gets a nanny, and trained caregivers shall compensate for the lack of parental love.
This is made worse by our attention-deficit way of life. There is always something happening online. A new post by an influencer on Instagram. A new trend on LinkedIn. A new cause to engage in. Or a new episode of your favourite TV-show.
Have you seen a parent going for a walk with their child, cellphone planted in their hand? The child uses all means at their disposal to invite their parent into their life. But … the addiction of the cellphone wins…
I like to think of the world as a living organism. In a sentient being, there are differentiated and undifferentiated cells. Cells that have gotten a purpose, such as a neuron, and those that haven’t: stem cells. And then we have cancer cells, which are on the spectrum. Undifferentiated cancer cells tend to be more aggressive and dangerous than differentiated ones.
This same metaphor also applies to organisations and systems. Christianity evolved from preaching about the judgmental God, to the loving God who accepted us unconditionally as presented by Christ. Neale Donald Walsch has been attributed with saying «Judgment has no place in a loving heart» which can be seen as a summary of his book, “Conversations with God.”
Organized religion can become a cancer. Just like big pharma, a tool to subjugate and control people.
A year back, I lived in a cult called Linbu. I joined them because one of their core tenets was that psychology should be about evolution, not identifying abnormality.
This quote comes from their secret workbook, edited for clarity:
THE 4 STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS
1st STATE: SLEEP
– is the lowest state of consciousness
– is a purely subjective and passive state
– all psychic functions work without any attention
2nd STATE: WAKING SLEEP
– the second state comes when man awakes
– in this state we work, talk, imagine ourselves conscious, but in reality, it should be called «RELATIVE CONSCIOUSNESS.»
– dreams still remain, only they become invisible, exactly as the stars and the moon become invisible in the glare of the sun.
– dreams can influence all our thoughts, feelings and actions.
– in waking sleep, we can only know relative truth.
– in the second state, man is less subjective.
– he distinguishes between «I» and «not-I.»
– identification plays a big role in this state, and man is acted upon and manipulated by external forces, as a puppet is activated by the puppeteer.
– in this state inner unity is not present, no real will or permanent «I.»
3rd STATE: SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS
– is a state in which man becomes objective towards himself. She can know the full truth about herself.
– periods of self-consciousness cannot come by themselves; they need wilful action.
– frequency and duration of these periods depend upon the control one has over oneself.
– acquiring this state requires long and hard work.
– the development of self-consciousness, permanent «I» unity and will can be found only in a community of souls. Men cannot find these methods by themselves.
4th STATE: OBJECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS
– in this state, we know the full truth about everything. We can study things in themselves: the world as it is.
– even glimpses of objective consciousness can only come in the fully developed state of self-consciousness.
– in this state there is a consciousness of the cosmos, of the life and order of the universe.
Unfortunately, Linbu devolved. Greed became the primary driver for their work. So, I left them.
Have you heard of spiritual bypassing? Spirituality can offer comfort and a sense of connection to something greater. However, spiritual bypassing occurs when individuals use these practices to escape or suppress reality rather than face it. If someone says “my life has hurt me” – just meditate on it, and it will be fine. If someone hits you on one cheek, turn the other. That was the wrong turn that the Linbu society took: believing that you haven’t been given a free will, and with it, the possibility to change your life.
We see the same in the bio-psychiatric narrative. Though a psychiatrist may say “talk therapy is a beneficial adjunct, their focus is on tweaking your meds. As if a pill can fix your hurt emotions. This is stupidity to the n’th degree. You must make the changes you want to see in your world.
If a cancer cell appears in a body, it ramps up its defenses. To avoid metastasis, the immune system kicks into action to destroy the invader. A cancer cell does not care about the organism, only about itself. And cancers of the mind – when the Threats overwhelm your mission – aren’t fixed by a pill.
When Jesus saw the moneylenders and merchants in the temple, he didn’t turn the other cheek. «My house shall be called a house of prayer, but you make it a den of robbers» he called out, swinging his whip.
The world is our temple. We are the shepherds of our world. And it is time we, who have awakened to our task, take the responsibility. Be the warriors that bring change.
**
There are organisations who benefit from us being sick. Especially if the illness is chronic. It is a genius business idea: you tell someone that they have a chronic chemical imbalance, which means that they require lifelong medication. The meds come at a premium, and new medicines – so much more effective than the previous generation – will fix this. Do you believe that big pharma cares about your wellbeing? I call it medical bypassing.
I am a healer. And I am good at my job. If a client experiences no improvement in three interactions, it is time to find another healer.
This is the opposite strategy of big pharma. If the drugs don’t work, increase the dosage. Or change to another drug.
In the Danish book “Noget i bør vide – Om uttrapning av Psykofarmaka” (“Something you should know – about tapering from psychofarmaka”, Hanz Reiztzels Forlag 2024), psychologist and psychiatrist Anders Sørensen shows that the effect of the drugs is independent of dosage. Receptor saturation happens at a minimal dosage. This is the reason that when tapering off from drugs, going from a little to nothing is most challenging.
The hypothesis that people who have mental unrest have a chemical imbalance seems to be difficult to kill. Sørensen (ibid) writes “No correlation between a chemical imbalance and any psychiatric diagnosis has been shown.»
People with low serotonin experience “depression.» People with high levels of serotonin experience “depression.»
Still, this is put forward as a truth. The foundation of biological psychiatry is flawed, but the treatment remains the same.
People are being hurt by the establishment. In the guise of “treatment,” we are decreasing their timespan by 15-25 years. Now, please do not get me wrong. I am not telling you, if you are on psychotropics, to throw your drugs out the window. That would be like a heroin addict going cold turkey. It can kill.
You should taper gradually. If you wish. Do it along with a professional and take your time. In this Newsweek-article, Sørensen offers advice on how to do it: https://reidunueland.com/kickdrugs/
By the way: I know that there are psychiatrists who are opposed to the biomedical paradigm of psychiatry. If you are one of them, I suggest that you visit this website: https://www.scientificfreedom.dk
If you have read this far, you may be left with a lot of questions.
“What am I supposed to do, then? If I quit the drugs, won’t I return to the same state I was in?”
Just like a snowflake, you are unique. There is nobody else who is “you.» I have some suggestions that may help, but it is up to you to pick what fits.
Don’t allow others to judge you. Select your crowd. If you have poisonous people in your environment – take a break from them. When someone says, “you can’t do this” they are saying “I can’t do this.»
Are you “depressed” or simply surrounded by asshats?
Don’t buy into the trauma-trap. We all have had adverse experiences. And you have a choice: will you let your worst moments define the trajectory of the rest of your life, or the best ones? Will you let your diagnosis define you, or will you define your life?
Silvia Hartman is a spiritual teacher, and the founder and president of the Guild of Energists. She talks about our “Star Moments” – the times in your life that left you ecstatic. When you were flowing with the moment. These are more important than the darkness you have gone through. This is the love that fuels your life.
Am I saying it is easy? That there are no thorns in the rose garden?
Far from it.
I have attempted to finish my own life nine times. First time in 1983, last attempt in 2019. When I work with people with suicidal ideation, I don’t speak only from a theoretical point of view. I know that it is so easy to create a pattern where ending your life becomes a viable option. Where you convince yourself that the world would be a better place without you. Your family will forget you, the world will move on, and you will find peace. That was what I thought.
This is not true. A suicide creates ripples of pain.
And we do know a lot about the causes. One major cause, something which has been prevalent in my own life, is money. My last attempt came when I lived in my car, had no money whatsoever, and social services and mental health said that they couldn’t help me. A Swedish study from 2023 showed that 20% of Swedes who had problems with debt had tried suicide. Being poor is a taboo, and what we don’t talk about doesn’t change. Despite us knowing this, despite the worsening statistics, it seems that the governments of the world are afraid to act. In Norway, 70 more people chose to die in 2023 than in 2022.
I blame no-one for my problems. Though I must say that the drugs haven’t helped. But I did what I did, and I take full responsibility for my own life choices, including the pain I have caused my family.
If you are feeling suicidal, please … don’t think that you are alone. Reach out for help. An exercise I have used is “Wait One Minute.» I first used it with a young man from a middle eastern country some years ago.
He asked me to come to his bedroom, and said “I will kill myself. I have prepared everything, and you can’t stop me.» I said “OK.» He continued “you know my story, so you understand why.” “I understand why” I responded. I asked him to lay down on his bed and take a deep breath. I then asked him to remember the traumatic memory. I said, “So you want to kill yourself. Can you wait one minute?» He smiled, a tear dripping onto his pillow, and nodded. I kept quiet for one minute. Then I said, “Can you repeat it?» He said yes. We waited for one more minute. “Can you wait ten minutes?» He laughed. After the ten minutes had gone by, I continued “So, you have shown that you can wait. Can you wait until tomorrow?» He gave me a hug, said he was tired, and asked me to sit in his room until he fell asleep. The next day we got him an appointment to see a psychiatrist, whom he met once.
He is still alive.
Our world is a living organism, and we are its caretakers. It’s time to challenge the systems that profit from our illnesses and embrace holistic healing. Together, we can create a future where mental health is nurtured, not numbed.
This is my three-step method to happiness:
1. Find a love object. It can be a dog, a child, an artist, a humanitarian organisation, work or your idea of God.
2. Create a daily ritual where you show your love for this object.
3. Increase your love 1% each day and pay it forward.
I will leave you with a mantra, taken from Ho’oponopono: «I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you..»
<3 Håkon/Hawk.
A poem:
I wrote this poem when I was in a psych ward 30 years ago. We had started with group therapy, and there were a lot of people who were hurting. So, I started writing poems and shared them in the group. Here’s one:
The Black Light of Depression
If I could take your pain,
your depressions, neuroses, psychoses, and your anxiety
Wrap them neatly in rose petals and swallow them
So that you could have a holiday
A little break
Then I would have done so.
If I could have taken
your sorrow for things done and undone
your anxiety about living and dying
your anger over missed chances
for a little while
Then I would have done it.
But I cannot do that
I can offer you
a hand now and then, a small word occasionally
But you must live with your pain
It is a part of you
Without it, you are not you.
Does not the flowers of love shine brighter against a backdrop of sorrow?
Do not bright summer evenings glow more intensely after dark winter days?
Does not happiness become like a nova in
the black light of depression?
Hawk Ueland,
Haakon’s journey to therapy was woven into his very essence, born to a psychologist and a lecturer who painted his childhood with the hues of Freud, Jung, and Reich. Like a young sapling reaching for the sun, he delved into the Bible at four, seeking solace after his father’s departure a year before, and by 14, his mind had danced through half the local library. An ordained minister and Doctor of Divinity from the ULC, his academic roots took hold with a bachelor’s in child welfare in 2008. He blossomed into a certified Tsa Lung healer in 2012, embraced the solitude of a celibate monk in 2019, and found harmony as a licensed holistic healer in 2020. With 22 years of therapeutically nurturing souls, he crafts healing melodies as “Mancient.» Co-author #1 book, “Bullied: how I got by,” a father to three and guardian of a loyal dog, Haakon invites you to explore his therapeutic garden at www.surroundtherapy.com or connect on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/mancient.